


Double The Trouble

by DiYunho



Category: DCU, Joker - Fandom, Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom, The Joker dcu - Fandom, joker DCU
Genre: Adults, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Drunkenness, Emotions, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Feelings, Feels, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fun, Funny, Gotham City - Freeform, Hilarious, Implied Relationships, Joker - Freeform, Jonny Frost - Freeform, King of Gotham, Kissing, Large Breasts, Love, Making Out, Marriage, Married Couple, Married Life, Mister J - Freeform, Mister Joker, Movie Night, No Angst, Relationship(s), Romantic Fluff, Sleeptalking, So Married, The Joker - Freeform, The Joker Jared Leto, The Joker Suicide Squad, The Joker dcu, Tickling, True Love, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, baby sitting adults, christmas in july
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-02 06:44:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18805831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiYunho/pseuds/DiYunho
Summary: You and the Joker don’t drink very often, but when you do you have to take turns. One always has to watch the other to make sure things are not going…south. And if it happens that you both go down in flames and glory, the burden to keep an eye on both will fall on Frost. He so loves it…Yeap.





	Double The Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me on Tumblr and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

You just had one drink and stopped, J had about 6 and you cut him off because he’s already drunk. You tried to put him to sleep fast so he won’t bother you because you want to watch scary movies all night. You lured him in bed and right now you are uncomfortable as hell. Why? Because he loves to spoon with you, arms crossed on your boobs, holding them tight like his life depends on them. That is the only way he would sleep when he’s drunk. And you can’t wait to get away from the uncomfortable position. You try to take one hand away and he’s nuzzling in your hair, mumbling:

“No…no…”

Dammit, first attempt failed. After 5 minutes, you try again, even slower this time, careful not to wake him up. It worked, but you know he might wake up if he doesn’t feel you. You make a run for the kitchen, grab two personal size watermelons and rush back to the master bedroom. You place them in between his arms and cross them on top of the fruits. He smiles in his sleep and squeezes them to his chest, happy. Have fun with your melons, Mister J. Mine are coming with me.

You snap a pic on your phone and send it to Frost downstairs:

“Ain’t he cute, Frosty?”

Jonny gets the picture, snorts and starts laughing, not really associating the word cute and Joker in the same sentence.

You go to the living room and start watching “Lights out.”

10 minutes into the movie and you hear J’s steps dragging on the granite floor.

“Princess? Where are you?” he whines, rubbing his eyes.

Crap, no!!!!! Why is he awake?!

You sigh:

“Over here, baby.” The Joker comes and sits by you on the couch, having a hard time concentrating. After 6 drinks, you bet ‘cha.

“Y/N, why are there watermelons in our bed?” he sulks, sniffling.

“I have no idea, handsome,” you innocently reply, trying to distract him.” Let’s get you back to bed, hmm?” you muster the brightest smile you can, trying to convince him.

“No, I want strawberries,” J pulls back on the couch when you try to lift him.

Great!!! Just go back to sleep dude.

“OK, I’ll go get you some.” You know you have to, otherwise he won’t shut up.

“I’m coming with you,” he gets up and grabs the hem of your t-shirt, following your steps. You roll your eyes: Make up your mind.

“You don’t have to.”

“No, I’m coming, you might leave me again.”

So needy when he’s drunk.

He drags a chair on the way to the sink, not letting go of your t-shirt and resting his head on your hip while you wash the strawberries.

“Done, let’s go back.”

He doesn’t say anything, he follows you back on the couch like a puppy, finally letting go of your t-shirt when you sit down again.

“What are we watching, Pumpkin?”

“A scary movie, baby.”

“Feed me,” he demands and you close your eyes, exasperated. Why won’t you go back to sleep?!

“Kaayyy, here,” you keep on giving him one fruit at a time, thrilled at least he’s quiet so you can continue the movie. After a while, you look over to him to see why he’s not eating the last strawberry. He’s dozing off. Yes!!!! Thank you God!

You try to lift your butt off the couch so you can place the bowl on the glass table in front of the TV. Wrong move.

“Where are you going?” he complains, grabbing your t-shirt and pulling you back on the couch, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Nowhere…” you grumble, disappointed. He shifts so he can place his head on your knees.

“What are we watching, Pumpkin?”

You roll your eyes again.

“A scary movie, baby.”

“Gimme that black marker,” he suddenly signals towards it. You reach your hand and grab it from the chair.

“What are you doing with it, J ?”

“Stuff,” he shortly answers. You give him what he asked for and he starts drawing on his left arm. Since he’s preoccupied with something, you can pay attention to the movie again. After about 15 minutes, he shoves his arm in your face:

“This is my next tattoo,” he proudly states with a wide smirk.

“Would you look at that, it looks great, baby: I love my wife. And who might that be?!” you inquire, pretending to be puzzled while you slowly take your wedding ring off behind your back and hide it in your pocket.

He lifts his head up for a few seconds.

“Well, you, who else?”

“We’re not married,” you try to contain your laughter. Man, at least you can tease him to the maximum, this way it’s fun for you.

“Wh-whaaa’? Why not?!” he frowns, looking you in the eyes from your lap.

You caress his green hair, biting your lip so you look serious.

“You asked and I said no.”

“What??!!! But why???!!! I’m such a catch! ” J is stunned and you are so entertained.

“Meehhh,” you lift your shoulders with an indifferent expression on your face.

His mouth opens with indignation:

“This is soooo not cool, Doll; I’m the Joker, I am a catch and you have to marry me.”

“Maybe,” you answer, absent minded, really wanting to continue your movie.

He takes your hands and kisses them both.

“Marry meeeeeeee, marry me, marry meeeeeeee, marry meeeeeeeeeee,” he keeps on begin over and over again, annoying the crap out of you.

“FINE!!!” you shout so he will be quiet again.

“I win,” he smiles to himself, victorious. He abruptly gets up, getting down on his knees in front of you. He’s rubbing his eyes again. Please just go to sleep.

“I’m horny, Princess,” he blurs out, crawling in between your legs. “Let’s go, take care of my needs!”

“I’m watching a movie, J.”

“I-I-I, I- I don’t care,” he stammers, so amazed you dare telling him no. “I am more important. I want you, NOW! Get naked!” he impatiently pulls down on your skirt.

You sigh. Of course you want him too, but it would be nice to finish this movie.

“Hey, Jaaayyy,”you seductively whisper, taking his hands in yours and placing them on your thighs. “We’ll have some wild sex, but first let’s drink some more, hmmmm?” you try to convince him, hoping that after a few more drinks he’ll be out cold.

“Really, you’ll drink with me?” he licks his lips, trying to keep his head straight.

“Oh yeah, then we’ll…(you kiss him) have (kiss) so much (kiss) fun (kiss).”

“All right,” he grins, anticipating the crazy night you promised him. His blue eyes sparkle with content.

You bring the whiskey over and plan just to take a few sips, this way you don’t get plastered.

“Come on, Y/N, drink”, he keeps on urging you and you have to.

Shit, you got drunk too.

***Frost wonders if everything is OK, he knows his boss is drunk and you are supervising him. He decides to check up on you and see if you might need help; J can be a handful when he’s inebriated. The elevator’s doors open up and he steps in the penthouse. Why is it so dark?! He turns on the light and the first thing he sees is you making out with the Joker in the middle of the living room.

You let out a surprised scream and hide behind J who is protectively holding you now with both hands behind his back.

“Oh my God, Frost! Don’t look, we’re naked!” you shout, embarrassed, slurring your words. Mister J is just shirtless, your t-shirt is lifted and you short skirt is pulled down low on your hips, but that’s it.

“Ummm, you’re not naked,” he points out but you don’t believe him. You slowly reach your hands from behind J and cover his nipples with your fingers.

“Don’t look, Frosty, this is so embarrassing,” you almost start crying, upset.

J looks down at your palms covering his nipples, his green hair falling on his face:

“Thank you, Princess.”

“You’re not naked; believe me, ok?” Jonny tries to reason with you again.

“Are you saying my girl’s a liar?” the Joker snaps, growling at his henchman.

God dammit, Frost thinks, panicked, taking a deep breath. The emergency response team (which is you) is down. Now it’s up to the crisis task force (which is him) to take over. Frost needs to babysit you two now and make sure you don’t burn down the penthouse or worse. He’s seen it all.

“I will just go and make some very strong coffee, OK?” he nods his head, trying to stay positive.

None of you answer; you still hide behind J, convinced you’re naked, but finally take your hands down, uncovering his nipples. The Joker gives him a dirty, mean look.

Frost goes in the kitchen and brews coffee, knowing it might help a bit. Anything he can do to make his task easier.

He comes back to the living room and doesn’t see you two. Oh, no!

Jonny starts looking for you around the penthouse, checking the bedrooms first. When he gets to the master bedroom, his hand stops on the handle when he hears you:

“God J, It doesn’t fit in anymore,” you whimper.

J grunts:

“But it always fits, Baby Doll. Here, hold it better.”

“”I’m telling you it doesn’t go innnn,” you whine.

J grunts some more.

“Dammmmiiitttt, it’s always more fun when it goes in,” you complain, exasperated.

“I know, Pumpkin, Daddy will make it slide in, hold on.”

Fuck no, Frost gulps, someone please shoot me now. Not fatally, but maybe just in the leg or arm so I can be out of commission for a while.

He finally decides to knock on the door:

“Sir…Ummm, you alright in there?”

“Frosttyyyyyy, come innnnnnnnn,” you whine.

He takes a deep breath, then another one and another one. He opens the door with only one eye open. What a relief: you and J try to put together the Christmas tree. It’s July.

“What are you guys doing? Coffee is ready,” Jonny announces, thrilled it’s not what he imagined.

“Stupid tree!!!!!!!!” you shout, pushing it and it falls down. You are getting mad and keep on stomping it.” Stupid, ugly, tree! I hate you!!!!!!!!”

Great, her temper is starting to kick in, Frost sighs. The Joker claps, content at your outburst.

“That’s right, nobody screws with my girl!!!! Except me!”

You both look at each other for a few seconds before starting laughing like crazy.

“Wanna screw me, Mister J?” you close your eyes, thinking you’re winking, trying to regain your balance.

“Daddy always wants to screw you,” he purrs and walks towards you with a devilish smile on his face.

Shit! Frost gets alarmed.

“Boss, coffee is ready, waiting for you guys in the living room. I saw you paused a movie on TV, were you guys watching something?” he tries this strategy, hoping it will work.

“Oh, my movie!!” you snap your fingers, yanking the Joker away when he was trying to kiss you.

“Oh yeah, that scary movie,” he agrees, forgetting what he was trying to do. Thank God you two have the attention span of a dead snail when you’re drunk.

You head back to the living room, holding the Joker’s arm with one hand and Frost with the other.

“Ok, you boys sit here. Frost, get in the middle of us.”

“But why, Doll? I wanna sit by you,” J whines again, hurt you don’t want to sit by him.

“Frost is fluffier; we can use him as a pillow! Duh!” you tell J, amazed he didn’t get the point.

“Oh, I see,” J smiles, leaning on Frost.

“I’m not fluffy, I’m husky,” Jonny mumbles to himself, unhappy he gets to sit in between you.

You lean on Frost too.

“See, baby? Told you he’s soft, I always know better.”

“U-hum,” J agrees, watching the movie now.

Frost takes a few deep breaths, resigned. At least you’re behaving. After a few minutes:

“Itsy bitsy spideeeerrrrr…” J walks his fingers over Frost’s tummy, getting over to you and trying to tickle you. You scream and laugh, hitting Jonny like it’s his fault.

I really need a raise, he puffs, hoping you’ll both fall asleep soon since you didn’t want to drink any coffee.

After you calm down, The Joker feels his hair getting pulled. You reached your arm behind Frost and did it, snickering.

“Hey!!” J gets startled.

“It was Frost!” you point your finger at him.

“Keep your hands at home, man!” J elbows him so hard Frost loses his breath for a sec.

You giggle with your face in Frost’s shoulder and he’s considering calling Batsy at this point.

“You guys want another drink?” he tries his last ace in the sleeve.

“Oh yeah, good idea!” you shout, bouncing up and down the couch, impatient.

He brings you both two glasses full of alcohol, sits back down and waits.

It takes more than one hour but finally he looks left and right and you are both asleep.

Thank you, he lifts his eyes towards the ceiling, grateful. Now he can finally watch this damn movie he wanted to see anyway. He starts from the beginning and he’s so exhausted he passes out half way through.

Too bad there is nobody to take a picture and frame it.

All three sleeping on the couch: you put your leg over Frost’s lap so you can touch J, and you are also holding his hand over Frost’s chest, both resting your heads on his shoulders. Batsy would love this for Christmas.


End file.
